Exercising more and losing weight is a typical New Year’s resolution. This has been comically illustrated on a line graph from a search engine showing that peak search volume interest for the keyword “fitness” occurs during the beginning of each year (with smaller peaks during the summer months). Naturally there has been an influx of the masses paying tribute at the Iron Temple. Here are some experiences I’ve had since the first day of 2013.
-When entering the Temple, one must offer a fingerprint as tribute. During the sacrifice, the Keepers of the Temple will often make small talk. I’ve noticed they’ve started advising patrons more regarding personal training services.
-While using one of the machines, I noticed someone nearby playing Angry Birds while resting. I am guessing more progress was made in the game than in training because there is no greater motivation than enraged flying birds wrecking havoc. I know what I’ll be visualizing the next time I hurl a medicine ball.
-I let someone work a machine with me. After I completed a set, he immediately banged out a set of limited range-of-motion reps using abysmal form in less than a minute. I was still drained so I continued to rest in anticipation for my next set. During the wait, I could smell his adrenaline pumping and feel his desire to use the machine as soon as possible. Needless to say his performance suffered over the next few sets until he finished.
-After racking my weights — around ten assorted plates — from a deadlift, a personal trainer made the effort to thank me. I rack my weights all the time and I’m sure this particular trainer knows my track record. His gratitude may be related to the increasing mess of unracked weights laying forlorn and forgotten.
-After completing a set on the incline barbell bench, I walked off to drink water leaving behind a towel to show the space was still in use. I returned to the bench just in time to see someone throw my towel to the floor and start unracking my weight. When I approached him about this, he spewed that he had yelled to see whether anyone was still using the bench. He stormed off without apologizing, picking up the towel, or reracking the weight. This could have ruined my mood but I found solace knowing the regulars had my back — one walked by shaking his head and another two shared empathetic glances — and that I would never stoop low like the hunchbacked douchebag.
Many Resolutioners will leave after a few months, but until then I’ll enjoy every moment and experience. I dislike New Year’s resolutions because I believe vows for action should happen as soon as possible and be sustained indefinitely. I began my life resolution of self improvement years ago and haven’t looked back since. I hope others can do the same.
Iron Temple Adventures 